Let’s say a Yankee fan comes up to you and starts bragging about his team’s 27 Championships. What do you say in response? What do you do when a Yankee fan calls to brag about yet another victory? How should you react when you see a guy decked out from head to toe in gaudy Yankee garb? If your answer to these questions is smack the person in the face, well, we understand. But we can do better than that. And now, armed with this book, so can you.
We have provided you with hundreds of humorous things to say and do to any annoying Yankee fan. (Sorry for the redundancy.) We’ve even included a 12-step program that will allow you to get a Yankee fan to stop rooting for that most evil empire.
We assure you that this book has come from the hearts and minds of genuine Yankee haters. Dave spent his childhood in upstate New York surrounded by Yankee fans. If you place any marginally intelligent individual within the midst of a bunch of Yankee fans, that person will unquestionably end up detesting Yankee fans. Lucky for Dave, he’s marginally intelligent. He swears he cried when Bucky Dent hit that damn home run. He, however, did not grow up a Sox fan. In an effort to be unique he, at the age of 6, dubbed himself an Oakland A’s fan. Yes, he was the sole member of Vestal, NY’s Jeff Newman fan club.
Paul and Mark were born and raised in the Boston area and, well, need we say more? If you’re from Boston you hate Yankee fans – end of story. Paul, in fact, wanted this book to be called “Ways To Castrate A Yankee Fan.” He eventually came to terms with the slightly more subtle, “Things That Might Annoy A Yankees Fan.” But if you are looking for ways to mutilate or even decapitate a Yankee fan, then the last few chapters are for you. These are referred to by Paul as his favorites and by Dave as “Things That Might Get Us Sued.” (He, therefore, would like to make it very clear that these are all jokes – to be read, not implemented. Paul, in turn, would like to shove a pitchfork up Dave’s nose.)
So, whether you are a Sox fan, a Mets fan or just one of the many rational people on this planet who despise Yankee fans, this book is a must for you. It will also make the perfect gift not only for any other Yankee hater you know, but also for a Yankee fan. What better way could there be to annoy a Yankees fan than by giving him a book entitled “Things That Might Annoy A Yankees Fan”?
Take it easy,
Paul, Dave & Mark
